★彡 REAL ULTIMATE GHOST FIGHTERS 彡★
SHENANDOAH VALLEY'S #1 GHOST REMOVAL & PHYSICAL COMBAT SERVICE
~~~ EST. 1999 ~~~
⚠️ THIS SITE BEST VIEWED IN INTERNET EXPLORER 6 AT 800x600 ⚠️
IS YOUR HOME HAUNTED?
DON'T CALL A PRIEST.
DON'T CALL A MEDIUM.
DON'T CALL GHOSTBUSTERS.
CALL SOMEONE WHO WILL
>>> PHYSICALLY FIGHT YOUR GHOST <<<
We at Real Ultimate Ghost Fighters have been protecting the Shenandoah Valley since 1999. We are TRAINED. We are READY. We are NOT afraid.
Whether it's a Civil War soldier who won't leave, a Native spirit that Earl has personally offended, or just something wrong with your basement — we will show up. We will assess the situation. And then we will fight it.
* Results may vary. Real Ultimate Ghost Fighters LLC is not responsible for property damage, emotional distress, or anything Earl says during the investigation. Dave's finishing move has a 94% success rate. The other 6% we don't talk about.
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📺 WATCH THE SHOW 📺
REAL CASES. REAL GHOSTS. REAL FIGHTS.
Tyler filmed this. He went to school for this.
EPISODE 1 — PART 1 OF 2
The one that started it all. The Shenandoah Valley's most unqualified ghost fighting crew takes their first case. Earl has a plan. Dave has a Sheetz bag. Tyler has a camera and $80,000 in student debt. Brynn senses something significant.
* No ghosts were harmed in the filming of this episode. One wall was damaged. Dave did it.
🏆 MEET THE TEAM 🏆
EARL CHUGGERCEO / Ghost Champion / Supernatural Combat Specialist Strasburg, VA. Alien phenomena expert. Student of psychic combat, no-touch knockouts, and chi-based warfare. Earl believes every guy on YouTube who says he can defeat 10 men with his mind — and has adapted their techniques for ghost fighting. His abilities were unlocked during a 2-day stint in the Woodstock city jail (drunk in public, 2009). He won't talk about what happened in Cell 4. He will talk about everything else. "I was trained for this." |
 DAVELead Field Investigator / The American Winchester, VA. Former EMT. Current large man. His finishing move is called The American and it has never not worked. Dave does not get scared. Dave gets hungry. These are different things. "I'm not scared. I'm hungry. Those are different." |
 TYLERDirector of Visual Documentation Harrisonburg, VA. BFA Film. Available at Starbucks Woodstock weekdays. Tyler went to school for this. All of this. He will tell you about it. His footage has been described as "genuinely beautiful??" by at least one client. "I went to school for this." |
 BRYNNPsychic Medium & Spiritual Advisor Luray, VA. Certified psychic (self-certified). Crystals available on Etsy. Brynn senses things that are there. The spirits speak to her. Do not make her fight. You don't want her to fight. "The energy here is... significant." |
🏆 OUR SERVICES & PRICING 🏆
| SERVICE | WHAT WE DO | PRICE |
|---|---|---|
| Standard Ghost Removal | Brynn assesses. Earl sweeps. Dave stands there. Ghost leaves. | $199 |
| Aggressive Ghost Removal | Everything above plus Earl's tactical package and a strongly worded podcast episode about the ghost. | $299 |
| FULL COMBAT PACKAGE ⭐ | Full spiritual assessment, tactical sweep, and Dave's signature finishing move. Most popular package. One wall may be damaged. | $499 |
| Civil War Specialist | For Confederate or Union ghosts specifically. Earl has opinions. This takes longer. | $349 |
| Corporate / Government | Call Earl directly. He has questions for you too. | CALL EARL |
| Annual Protection Plan | Monthly drive-by from Dave. Quarterly podcast mention by Earl. Peace of mind. | $49/mo |
ALL PACKAGES INCLUDE: Free Brynn crystal blessing ✦ Earl's supplemental water filtration assessment ✦ Tyler's cinematic documentation ✦ One (1) follow-up call
📬 JOIN THE GHOST FIGHTER ARMY 📬
New cases. New fights. Earl's latest alien findings. Merch drops. All of it.
We will not sell your email. Earl tried to trade a subscriber list for a UFO sighting report once. We stopped him.
👕 GHOST FIGHTER MERCH 👕
Represent the Valley. Fight the unseen. Look incredible doing it.
Merch store launching soon. Join the email list above to get notified first.
📚 BOOKS, COMICS & MORE 📚
Knowledge is power. Ghost fighting knowledge is survival.
⚡ FIELD GUIDES — $0.99 ⚡
Earl Chugger's Field Guide to Shenandoah Spirits
Alien encounters, supernatural phenomena, and why the no-touch KO masters are right about everything. Earl's complete field manual.
$0.99 — AMAZONThis Ghost Wanna Fight: A Practical Manual
Dave's illustrated guide to physical ghost combat. 14 finishing moves. Nutritional recommendations. One recipe.
$0.99 — AMAZONThe Energy Is Significant: Brynn's Guide to Valley Spirits
A psychic's journey through haunted Shenandoah. Crystal pairings for every ghost type. She stands by all of it.
$0.99 — AMAZONYou Don't Need a Degree to Fight Ghosts (Tyler Does and It Didn't Help)
A cinematographer's memoir. $80,000 in debt. One camera. Infinite ghosts. Tyler's story.
$0.99 — AMAZON🧒 CHILDREN'S BOOKS ⚡
Earl and the Friendly Ghost (Who Was Not Friendly)
Ages 6-10. Earl meets a ghost. The ghost is rude. Earl handles it. A story about standing your ground.
COMING SOONDave's Big Fight: A Story About Snacks and Courage
Ages 4-8. Dave is scared of the dark. But he's more hungry than scared. An American story.
COMING SOONBrynn Knows Things (Probably)
Ages 5-9. Brynn says she knows things. Sometimes she is right. A book about confidence.
COMING SOONTyler's Camera
Ages 6-10. Tyler has a camera and a dream. The AI took his job. But ghosts don't care about AI. A story about finding your purpose.
COMING SOON💥 COMIC BOOKS 💥
Real Ultimate Ghost Fighters #1: Origins
How did four people this unqualified end up doing this? The origin story. Cell 4 is referenced but not explained.
COMING SOONEarl Chugger: The Cell 4 Files
What really happened during those 48 hours in the Woodstock jail? Earl's account. Heavily illustrated. Possibly accurate.
COMING SOONThe Chugger Method: Illustrated Fighting Manual
Every ghost fighting technique Earl has developed, drawn in full comic style. Dave's finishing moves get a full chapter.
COMING SOONBrynn vs. The New Market Ghost
A standalone Brynn story. Civil War battlefield. Angry Confederate ghost. Wrong crystals. Still wins somehow.
COMING SOON⭐ WHAT OUR CLIENTS SAY ⭐
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"They showed up. The ghost left. I don't know what happened but there was a dent in the wall." — Karen M., Woodstock VA ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ |
"Earl would not stop talking about alien energy signatures the entire time but the ghost is gone so." — Phil T., Front Royal VA ⭐⭐⭐⭐ |
"Tyler filmed the whole thing in slow motion and it was actually beautiful?? 5 stars." — Denise H., Luray VA ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ |
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"I don't believe in any of this but they came anyway and now my house is fine." — Anonymous, Strasburg VA ⭐⭐⭐ |
"Brynn told me there was 'great suffering' here. We're on top of Fisher's Hill. Of course there is. But still, 5 stars." — Robert C., Strasburg VA ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ |
"Dave ate an entire Sheetz bag during the exorcism. Ghost didn't know what to do. Left immediately." — Linda W., Edinburg VA ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ |
⭐ Find us on Yelp — 3.2 Stars (47 reviews)
Note: Several 1-star reviews are from people who called Earl after midnight. Earl's podcast followers have been asked to stop leaving retaliatory 5-star reviews. They have not stopped.
🎙️ CHUGGER TRUTH HOUR 🎙️
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Earl's weekly podcast about ghosts, government cover-ups, supplements, the REAL history of the Shenandoah Valley, and what they don't want you to know. RECENT EPISODES:
📡 Subscribe via RSS (link may not work, Earl is aware) |
CURRENT SUBSCRIBERS 47 Earl's goal: 50 |
📚 OUR PUBLICATIONS 📚
Available now on Amazon for $0.99. Real books. Real knowledge. Real ghosts.
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📖
Earl Chugger's Field Guide to Shenandoah Spirits Everything Earl knows about ghosts, which is a lot, and the government, which is more. $0.99 |
📖
This Ghost Wanna Fight: A Practical Manual Dave's illustrated guide to physical ghost combat. Foreword by Dave. Afterword by Dave eating. $0.99 |
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The Energy Is Significant: Brynn's Guide to Valley Spirits A psychic's journey through the most haunted battlefields in America. Crystal-enhanced. $0.99 |
📖
You Don't Need a Degree to Fight Ghosts (Tyler Does and It Didn't Help) A cinematographer's memoir. Technically. His loans are still $80,000. $0.99 |
📞 CONTACT US 📞
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PHONE: (540) 555-HAUNT EMAIL: earl@realultimateghostfighters.com MAILING ADDRESS: Response time: 3-5 business days, or sooner if Earl is not recording the podcast. |
SEND US A MESSAGE |
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NEW SERVICES PAGE COMING SOON!!
(this has said this since 2007)
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